girlboymusic: "As of 1800 BST he had received the backing of 267 superdelegates to Mrs Clinton's 271.5."
girlboymusic: How do you have half a superdelegate?
Itsjuststephanie: HAHAHAH.
girlboymusic: I bet she tore him in half while trying to rip him away from Obama, and was like, "IT STILL COUNTS."
girlboymusic: And then she really quickly shoved Barack so he would drop his half of the superdelegate.
girlboymusic: "YOU DROPPED YOURS. NOW YOURS DOESN'T COUNT."
Itsjuststephanie: SHE IS NOT THAT EVIL!
Itsjuststephanie: only half-evil. ;)
girlboymusic: Mr. Obama has received an evil rating of 267 compared to Mrs. Clinton's 271.5.

girlboymusic: Yo, is it just me, or is Barack Obama dancing behind her?



Lalanav1: OMG OMG YES IT IS
Lalanav1: THAT IS OBAMA

I was thinking the other day about how both campaigns seem to struggling -- internally, not even against each other. Obama is facing media backlash, his people are pulling some childish bullshit, and Hillary...whatever the fuck that was. (And Heather Mills? Seriously? I worry about Hillary. She's smart and funny and kind of obviously the most kickass potential president ever on the face of the Earth -- at least till Roslin gets here, at which point they will get drunk together and airlock people just for fun. But she has like no concept whatsoever of what people are thinking.)

Anyway, the New York Times thinks they all just need a nap. I didn't even realize what a long-ass primary season this has been till they pointed it out, and then:

“The other campaigns seemed really long and tough when I was doing them, but now I look back and it was like a jog around the park, compared to some intense triathlon,” said Jake Tapper, a senior national correspondent for ABC News. “I still don’t know when it’s going to end. I still think it’s entirely possible it’s not going to end until Denver” — where the Democratic convention will be held in late August.

August. God. We all just need a nap. (Also, for furies, from the Times article: "In Ohio on Valentine’s Day, Mrs. Clinton phoned several reporters’ girlfriends from her plane to 'personally apologize' for their boyfriends’ absence." Love! Why am I not dating one of those reporters? HOW CAN WE GET ON THAT PLANE?)

PS - Richard Milhous Obama.

CNN calls Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island for my girl. I have nothing to say except: Love. Love love love.

I'm scanning the headlines while I wait for CNN.com to refresh, and something like this happens every time I read the news: "Beaten baby clings to life." Eh, whatever. A story about a Marine throwing a puppy off a cliff ("the black-and-white puppy makes a yelping sound as it flies through the air"), that makes me cry.

Additionally, this election brings the lulz: Obama's lawyer crashed Clinton's conference call with the press. Wasn't this a scene in Mean Girls?

girlboymusic: And you know, I kind of don't even care if he does it or not, though, because I just want him to be happy. HOW CHEESY IS THAT SHIT?
Lalanav1: LOL!
Lalanav1: FRIEND! YOU ARE EXPERIENCING CHEESY EMOTIONS!
Lalanav1: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
girlboymusic: I KNOW, THIS IS BULLSHIT.
Lalanav1:: LMAO.
girlboymusic: I NEED TO BUY A NEW CIRCUIT BOARD.
girlboymusic: THIS ONE IS OBVIOUSLY FAILING.
Lalanav1: ROFL.
Lalanav1: Or, it's EVOLVING.
girlboymusic: *is a Cylon*
girlboymusic: *has a plan*
Lalanav1: I KNEW it.
girlboymusic: LOL maybe that's why I want Hillary to win so much.

Skipped the debate, but I'm reading the coverage:

"Well," she responded, her voice rising, "could I just point out that, in the last several debates, I seem to get the first question all the time? And I don't mind. You know, I'll be happy to field them, but I do find it curious. And if anybody saw 'Saturday Night Live,' you know, maybe we should ask Barack if he's comfortable and needs another pillow."

Oh, honey, I love you. You can have my pillow.

I spent approximately 300 hours in AP US History. I'm pretty sure they were the best 300 hours of my life, and they started with a lesson on propaganda. It's served me well, both as a reader and a writer, and my favorite part of it -- the part I always remember -- is "glittering generalities." Which is why I can't believe I didn't think of this myself:

I still can't quite get over how creepy the w.ill.i.am* (or however you "spell" it) video for Barack Obama is. (I've embedded it below after the jump.) Aside from utilizing a lot of empty-headed celebrities, it also does a stellar job of using the techniques of propaganda, including: the bandwagon call, the use of beautiful people, euphoria, glittering generalities, intentional vagueness, repetition, slogans, virtue words and gratuitous use of Scarlett Johansson. In other words, it's almost the perfect ad.

That's what it is. I haven't been able to put my finger on what, exactly, makes me so angry about the Obama campaign, but that's what it is. Glittering generalities. I have heard more words -- more undeniably beautiful words -- from Barack Obama than from any other candidate. And yet, until I went and read his plan, I had no idea what he wants to do. The fact that I can spend so much time listening to him and hear absolutely nothing is problematic; the fact that so many people don't find this problematic is distressing.

Of course, the writer goes on to undercut himself by getting all "Kids today! They can't spell!" a full three times about will.i.am (thereby establishing Hillary as the candidate for geezers and Obama as the candidate for change) and floating some doofus idea about Scientology (because when you have a good point, the best thing to do is totally bury it).

OMG IT IS SUPER TUESDAY I AM SO EXCITED FUCK

I don't know why I'm so excited. I'm certainly not going to watch the coverage, and I'm slightly less certainly going to get my heart broken (ilu Hillary, you cry if you need to) and spend the next week raging about people who vote based on music videos, but whatevs. It is Super fucking Tuesday.

It is also Giants parade day, which means there are fucking Giants fans everywhere, just standing in the middle of things. Sidewalks, subway platforms, my goddamn life. GET OUT OF THE WAY. Also, it's the Empire State Building Run-Up, which means that once I get to 34th, for every Giants fan I step around, there is some douche in yellow running shorts jogging in place behind him. MOVE. MOVE. WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE MOVE??? I hate everybody who isn't from New York. You know who's from New York? Hillary.

Go sign John Kerry's filibuster petition, not because you care, but because A FILIBUSTER WOULD BE SO AWESOME! Remember that time we had a reverse filibuster? Remember how awesome that was? This will be just as awesome, plus not backwards! You know you want to turn on C-SPAN and see senators reading cupcake recipes, too, so sign it.

I'm settling.

Cardboard Kerry is no longer hidden behind the bookshelf.

And in the meantime, I think I'm about to try Bookcrossing.

And suddenly, I want to stay.

That was a beautiful, noble speech from a beautiful, noble man. That is my beautiful, noble America.

Thank you, John Kerry.

I just don't want to be here anymore.

I got my absentee ballot! It's so exciting. I can't wait to fill in the little circle next to Stretch's name.

( British Garry Shandling conjecture. )

Oh, by the way, The Grudge is either the worst horror movie I've ever seen or the best comedy I've ever seen.