The doorbell rings.

Dog: (barking)
Mom: "That's right, we got a delivery."
Dog: (barking)
Mom: "Thanks for letting me know."
Dog: (barking)
Mom: "You're right, that doorbell wasn't a dead giveaway."

Also, let us all take a moment to say goodbye to Max Watson. He was a good wonder hamster. May he rest in sunflower-seedy peace.

Y'all, I am watching the Puppy Bowl. Puppy Bowl II, to be exact.

This is way better than football.

Anderson Cooper is so passionate! Seriously, though, somebody needs to just step up and say, "You know, we fucked up." Honestly. There is something to be said for stepping up and saying you're sorry. This on-air act that everything is fine and everything is being done--it's only going to make people angrier and more desperate.

Also: some dude is donating a dollar to the Red Cross for every comment he receives is now broke thanks to all of you. He can't donate any more, so you should pony up!

Also also: Now might be a good time to sell your old crap for charity. Some worthy causes (rebuild libraries! help puppies in need!) can be found at call_to_action.

Also also also: Coinstar machines can donate your spare change to the Red Cross. Find the Coinstar machine nearest you.

Also also also also: TWoP is teaming up with Donors Choose to raise money for "Classroom Care Packages" for students displaced by the storm. For every $2,000 they raise, the good folks at TWoP will let a recapper recap something "weird and wonderful," so we all win, really.

So, today I went to Petco and there was this guinea pig that, I swear to God, looked just like Donald Trump. We named him The Donald and I kind of wanted to buy him, especially since I discovered that guinea pigs are social animals and need to play with you or else they get depressed. Seriously. And he was all walking up to me and squeaking and jumping up and down, and he was adorable. I had to walk away so I wouldn't buy him. Because honestly, I'm such a bad rodent owner, and I don't have anyplace to put him anyway. But I want him so bad! He's so cute, and I'd probably pay more attention to him than to Max, because hamsters aren't social. I don't know. Do I really need a guinea pig?

In other news, I know what I don't need: a charge on my debit card for $102.90 from "Virtual Mall Center." I didn't buy anything for $102.90 and I don't know what Virtual Mall Center is. Fraud!

So I call customer service, and the only department still open is the lost/stolen card department. Which, if someone is stealing from my card, so that counts, right? And the woman boredly bitches, "We can only help you if your card is physically missing. To recoup those charges, call the debit card department tomorrow." And I'm like, "Oh." And then she goes, "But we still value you as a customer."

I

am

dog.

AAAAAAAAAHHH! MY FATHER JUST BROUGHT IN EVIL REPUBLICAN KETCHUP!!! GET THEE BEHIND ME, KETCHUP!

Okay, anyway. The dog ate our remote. So my father bought a new one, and it's one of those new crazy universal remotes, that you can program to your TV, VCR, DVD player, stereo, dishwasher, car ignition, heart monitor, vibrator, NASA shuttle launch, evil robot bacteria in Skinner's blood, whatever. I mean, this is what the government was looking for in Iraq. It's like, this huge foot-long black box thing with an LCD at the top--"Dad, what is this for?" "To tell you what configuration it's on"--and thirty-seven buttons, and abbreviations that I can't even make out what they stand for.

Me: "Why didn't you just buy one of the remotes made for the cable box?"
Dad: "That's fifteen bucks!"
Me: "Oh. How much was this one?"
Dad: "Thirty."

So now we have the Remote of Mass Destruction for no reason, snd I no longer know how to change the channel. The end.

Oh yeah...I saw the watercolory "Rhapsody in Blue" neglected dog commercial again last night. The voiceover actually says, "Where you go in life is up to you. We can take you there," or something, and it's for United. No wonder. Continental is the best airline out there. SUCK ON IT, YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE UNITED DOG OWNERS!

And speaking of neglected dogs, has anyone seen the animal testing billboard near the train station? The dog reminds me of Stacy. *sad*

This song is by a South African band.

Behind the cut, you'll find journal nicknames, another bus mishap, and random encounters with past floormates.

( And so begins the longest LJ cut of your life. )

When I got home, the dog was so happy he was bounding in circles around me. How I have missed his sweet little puppy head.

Further proof that my father is a metrosexual: He used a Biore pore strip.

I saw HP3 with beizy and listened to her squeeing from the seat behind me for the entire movie. I left my squeeing till after the movie, upon which time I was like, "OMFG SNAPE IS SO HOT" and "ME AND SNAPE: OUR LOVE IS SO TRUE" and "MARRY ME, SNAPEY!" Car quotes: "I can't believe I'm the skinny one here." "You guys are sitting on both sides of my ass." "Me and Snape? BFF!" "I never realized before how tight his costume is!" And of course, laughing hysterically all the way home.

By the way, is this the song Lupin played during class? I remember recognizing it during the scene, but now that I'm home I can't recall how I went.

Hee. Mike just made the dog dance to this. Sherlock is one smooth cat...er, dog.

Did I ever write about the guys who hit on me and Pixie in Chinatown? Robtert the Stalker and my Arab shopkeeper who thought I had a "beautiful smile" (read: "impressive rack")? Hm.

On the RU DC hub chat, I met this kid from FTHS, and we were bonding, and then Pixie came in to see him. And it turns out he's in Glee Club. With TLM. So we're going to try and meet him at Coasters After Dark next week, and we told him to bring TLM along. Hee.

Finally, the lady across the street with two dogs told my mom to bring Sherlock over to meet them. My mom goes over, and the woman is all, "Yeah, I'm a dog trainer, I can help you with him." And then the woman's dog pees on my mom's leg. And my mom is like, "..." And the woman is like, "Anyway, I can show you how to use this leash with your dog." And my mom is like, "LADY! YOUR DOG JUST PEED ON MY LEG! LIKE I TOTALLY TRUST YOUR TRAINING NOW! NOT!"

The end.

Ask me five questions about anything. I will answer.

(You can do it anonymously, if you like. If you read both my journals, choose one to interview under.)

PS - Happy birthday, Sherlock!

( It turns out Sherlock gets carsick. )

Jaime (untilsundown) says my icon is scene. Which makes Fleetwood Mac circa 1976 scene. And she bought the Bare Trees album. I can't wait till Stevie starts dressing emo.

I had another Silver Fox dream. This time our date didn't suck, and he's really the best sleepytime boyfriend ever. Next time I'm gonna propose.